I haven't updated in forever, it's something that I'm guilty of and it's because I haven't had time. Yes, believe it or not, I- Richa- have not had time to blog on this website (or any website, for that matter) Actually, before I came to
Okay, okay. So I fully admit that the 32 or so days I've been in
I also realized that I'm a complete idiot. A total idiot. But that's a story for later. Or perhaps not? Mm, we'll see. I simply find it hard to believe that my feelings. My feelings were manipulated and taking advantage of. See? That's why I say- this love and mushy stuff, this caring for each other- it's all fake or nonexistent. With all the things I've seen,well, I'm not sure how to actually believe in them, can you blame me? And god. Good lord. Just because my feelings were taken advantage of, my life is almost totally officially messed up. And it's true- no matter what anyone says. Even if they tell me to study harder or something to that extent, it's hard to believe that the results will be changed because, perhaps, that certain person will ruin everything again. Apparently, feelings are a weakness. A big weakness. But I knew that of course. I simply didn't think that someone close to me- or someone who was suppose to be so close to me- would do something like that and literally lead me to my 'doom'(then again, this word is so over-rated, so perhaps I should put something along the lines of 'the fiery pits of..' Ha. )
And then..I had another thought, like I always do. Why should I change myself for another person? Why, of course I shouldn't. That would be the simple answer, but when you're in such a situation that I was and still am in- it isn't exactly that simple. Ha, the irony- really. More on this later as my thoughts are jumbled up due to a movie that we watched a few hours back. I should write about the movie too, but as it's 4 in the morning, I think I'll pass.
Note: This entry was made on August the 2nd, but as I had no internet, I was not able to post this up. A more updated entry shall be written when I have more time.