Thursday, December 30, 2010

Lingering Feelings & Tumbling Thoughts

Too early. Too freaking early in the morning for all these thoughts to be running through my head. Each time I try and successfully escape those thoughts, they try to sneak back in every chance they get. Confronting certain thoughts and people, at this stage, might be a good idea as I would come to a solid decision and finally make up my mind about plenty of things. However, it’s not possible for me to confront certain situations, even if they are lingering feelings which don’t allow me to totally close the chapter. For example, I might have pushed that person away from my life as much as possible because they’re not supposed to be worth it anymore. Because our friendship isn’t what it was and I can’t keep forgiving things like this. No matter how easy it is for me to forgive things and forget them, some things aren’t supposed to be forgotten it seems. But then when I think about our past together, the things we shared, the silly things we had in common- I can’t help but wish to revive those moments and wonder if it was worth losing you. Perhaps it was. Perhaps it was time for me to move on. Even if I’m gone from your life, it shouldn’t make a difference to you because it was bound to happen sooner or later. The only thing is that this all occurred way sooner than I thought it would. But to this date, it still kinda bothers/hurts me that you did that. And it seems like you don't care or feel even the slightest guilty at all.

"Never Make Someone a Priority, When all you are to them is an Option." -Unknown

‘A’ said that there’s no way I could completely forget about you. It’s not a total bummer because all those times with you made me experience things and learn things that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. Of course, you helped me further emphasize my train of negative thoughts about ‘love’, but it’s okay. However, it can be quite the bummer at times because you’ve clearly moved on with the rest of the girls in your circle, with your oh-so-busy life and with every thing else that continues to keep you on your toes while making me nothing but a mere memory for you. I only wish that the past memories didn’t continue haunting me every time a similar situation came up.

"I never knew it would be this hard to lose someone I never truly had." -A Human Being whose name I cannot find

I had a small hope, I guess, that things would be the same if we met this time as well. I mean it’s always been like that. We’ve hung out for hours, talked endlessly, had plenty of fun and then had a huge break between seeing each other again due to circumstances and whatnot. This time, however, things seemed to be different. Atleast to me, it seemed. I couldn’t place my finger on it exactly but some thing was different. Maybe it was the fact that you’ve changed and are developing into a new person. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve changed and can’t seem to agree with you on everything you say or do even though you’re my friend.I suppose you, as a friend, but i don’t agree with your decision and actions. But i’ve realized, and convinced myself, that no matter how much I care for you that it’s okay as you’re the one who has to face the consequences. Making up excuses just because you want to do something is fine if you really want to do it, but in the end I guarantee you that it’s not going to get you anywhere. But from thinking now, I’ve realized that it’s not you who’s changed or even me. It’s us. The thing we call our ‘friendship.‘

"We've all grown up, and there's no denying that. But it's tough to tell if in that growing up, we've simply grown apart."- Unknown.

Hm. It's sad. The people who are 'unknown' or not famous are the ones whose quotes best matches these situations and hose quotes I totally agree with.I suppose it's not the name that matters in the end anyways.