Friday, July 03, 2009

How Much Longer Will This Go On? How Much Longer Will I Be Kept In the Dark? How Much Longer Will You Refuse To Acknowledge My Presence?

It actually has been quite a while since I last blogged, so I decided why not write an entry today? Days have just been going by so fast that I haven’t gotten a chance to. Granted, I'm not exactly in a mood to blog about what I want to actually write about, but it's alright. Let's see how it goes. This entry might be in reference to some of the blog entries of my friends have written in the past. Some of these things might be personal and not exactly formal and all, but I just want to attempt to write a loose blog entry for once.

Now there's this person who I shall name X. At the beginning, I thought that we got along and that everything was dandy. Of course, now we still do get along, but there's this unspoken distance between us which I truly do dislike because I'm curious. So unbelievable curious about this person of their experiences and their viewpoint. From the top, some of X’s view points are different, but when sinking deeper, it’s actually similar to mine. X is a realistic person, it’s true, but sometimes he’s just so pessimistic, I want to help him escape and find out a better solution to those problems. At a point in time, I did almost give up because just when I thought I was getting to him, things just went down the drain, but then I thought- how could I actually do something like that? I’m such a persistent person that I just can’t do something like that no matter what. Ah, I wonder if I could be called an idiot for such a thing.

I wish upon that star. I wish from afar. How I wish, how I wish. There are a few people that I know who are going through quite a tough time. I know that I can help them. I know that I’m a trustworthy person who they can rely on and who will accept them and help them through their situation and problems, but I wish they could realize such a thing. I truly do. I want to get close to them and figure them out. Just enter their heart once, but if only they would let me. I wouldn’t betray them. From my side, that’s a guarantee.

That reminds me of something. A few days ago, I was cleaning my drawer and found a folded piece of paper. I recognize it was mine because of the handwriting and because the quality of the paper is good, meaning that it was from the States. On the paper were a few scribbles- thoughts of mine actually. Each ‘scribble’ was about a real life person, but I only got to write two of them until the period ended. Yes, you read right. I wrote these two things in my class- Arabic class to be exact.

A simple gesture to make my day.
A small text to make me smile.
A regular email to be like the sun’s ray.
You got me hooked for quite a while.
A few days without you-a few days it is,
But it truly is you who I miss.
You got me addicted; you got me attached,
But I know that I’m like the rest of the batch.
Just one more inch, I wish to be close-
In your heart, I wish I were that treasured rose.

You want to figure out who it was directed to? Go ahead. And yes, this is the next one:

I hope, I pray. I cry and I say.
I only wish it would all work because I want you to be in my life again
That shoulder I could mostly rely on.I want it back.
The memories of you and me- give them to me again.
Tell me their words were a lie. Tell me.
Your story I’d surely buy.

Even though I was determined to write a blog entry today, I honestly don’t think it was good at all. Infact, I’m highly tempted to click that ‘delete’ button in the corner of my screen, but I shall not because I have learned my lesson that I need to blog and write in a better way and more sensibly. Or something to that extent.


|| Tranquility || said...

"Just one more inch, I wish to be close-
In your heart, I wish I were that treasured rose."
I just LOVE this line.
And I have a fair guess at who the X might be, because well stuff resemble you know.
And Thank Goodness you updated your blog! Like Finally!
and Hun, keep your sweet temptations of deleting your blog entries to yourself -_- We want you blogging!

kod ekle said...

Greetings from Turkey.Have a nice day.

itsholyychouu said...

omg. longgggggggg blog. :)

uglyduckling91 said...

I loved this post. ^_^


I liked the poems. X)

I want more. ._.

Bitter Truth said...

This is an amazing post :)

I love the poems.