Look for the girl with the broken smile. .. .

Hey lovlies

I haven't updated in forever, it's something that I'm guilty of and it's because I haven't had time. Yes, believe it or not, I- Richa- have not had time to blog on this website (or any website, for that matter) Actually, before I came to India I thought that I had knowledge of many things and why was that? Because when I looked and compared the way people and I were in Dubai, I felt like I knew a bit more about the outside world than they did. Life proved me wrong- and not for the first time either- and the longer I stay in India, the more I realize that I actually have much to learn about life and people. It hurts and I feel so stupid and useless sometimes, but what am I suppose to do when I'm labeled something with a permanent marker? The label is not planning to come out any time soon, according to them at least. Sometimes, I just feel like writing down everything that goes through my mind as I find that it would be a pretty good idea, but whenever I start, it seems to be simply never ending. I suppose that's because I have too many thoughts running through my head. Not to mention, a few minutes after I usually start writing, a thought comes through my head and the thought is 'What's the point of doing this anyways?' After all, they're just childish, pointless thoughts, right? Perhaps not, but we'll never know I suppose. And sometimes I just feel like spilling everything out to one person, but that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Ha. 'Never' is more like it.

Okay, okay. So I fully admit that the 32 or so days I've been in India, I've barely enjoyed myself. Perhaps only 3 or 4 of those 32 days have been enjoyable, but it's only because of a mistake that a certain person did in the past. Because of that certain person, my summer vacation- which I remind you, I'll never get back- is being wasted. It's alright though I suppose because I've learned something- quite a few things actually. Ha, my poor innocence. It’s fading away as the days pass by. Sorry to disappoint y'all folks! Joking. But really. The world is officially corrupted. Everyone. Every single person in this universe is money minded and if they say they're not, they're in denial or they're lying. It's as simple as that. Also, everyone has a reason for doing the thing they do. They don't just 'do it' or do it out of love or genuinely- honestly, they don't.

I also realized that I'm a complete idiot. A total idiot. But that's a story for later. Or perhaps not? Mm, we'll see. I simply find it hard to believe that my feelings. My feelings were manipulated and taking advantage of. See? That's why I say- this love and mushy stuff, this caring for each other- it's all fake or nonexistent. With all the things I've seen,well, I'm not sure how to actually believe in them, can you blame me? And god. Good lord. Just because my feelings were taken advantage of, my life is almost totally officially messed up. And it's true- no matter what anyone says. Even if they tell me to study harder or something to that extent, it's hard to believe that the results will be changed because, perhaps, that certain person will ruin everything again. Apparently, feelings are a weakness. A big weakness. But I knew that of course. I simply didn't think that someone close to me- or someone who was suppose to be so close to me- would do something like that and literally lead me to my 'doom'(then again, this word is so over-rated, so perhaps I should put something along the lines of 'the fiery pits of..' Ha. )

And then..I had another thought, like I always do. Why should I change myself for another person? Why, of course I shouldn't. That would be the simple answer, but when you're in such a situation that I was and still am in- it isn't exactly that simple. Ha, the irony- really. More on this later as my thoughts are jumbled up due to a movie that we watched a few hours back. I should write about the movie too, but as it's 4 in the morning, I think I'll pass.

Note: This entry was made on August the 2nd, but as I had no internet, I was not able to post this up. A more updated entry shall be written when I have more time.

Smile for the camera..!

You know how they say 'a penny for your thoughts'? Well, I personally believe that, at the moment, my thoughts are worth more than a dime-not that I'm trying to be smug or arrogant of course. In the shower[yes, you heard me- the shower] I was pondering about life and it struck me that I hadn't ever explained my point of view when it came to this 'lovely' emotion called love. No need to moan yet as I am not planning to ramble about my entire life and waste your time. I'll just type vaguely, without touching any details, and see how it goes.

I'm one of those rare people that you'd meet- the one who doesn't believe in this 'emotion' called love. You heard me right- I believe that love does not even exist. It's quite ironic, isn't it-especially when you think about my personality because I seem like the one whose world would revolve around love, but no. I think I've gotten in touch with reality too soon and I'm ready to face the facts. I'm not one of those girls who'd be gazing out the window at night hoping that some day I'd fall in love with some prince and he'd come to rescue me. No siree. I'm not that stupid. Although it does seem like a nice though- doesn't it? Escaping from such a cruel, harsh reality, but that isn't important at the moment.

-pushes the pause button- Now hold up a minute. Before you people start pouncing on me, hear me out- loud and clear, okay? When I said 'love,' I mean certain kinds of love as I've come to know that there are many. Even love between siblings and family- I don't believe that they exist as well for the most part, but I'll expand on this thought later on in the future.

Alright, alright! So I admit it, I decided to procrastinate this post quite a bit and, well, let's just say that it didn't work out too well in the end. Basically, what actually happened is that I became bored of this over rated, pointless topic, so it ceased to exist in my blog. That was, until a certain reader of mine insisted that I post it back up for others to read. Yes, that's the part where I roll my eyes.

Yes, yes. You all must be utterly disappointed in me because I failed to complete an entire post, but I've decided to try to do something I've never tried before: write one entry per day before the first of July. Why the first of July? Well, there's various reasons to that and I refuse to share them here. I, of course, shall try my hardest to fulfill my goal because I'm quite determined to do it. On the contrary, I'm quite clueless on what topics I shall write. It's no problem, though, as I shall figure that out sooner or later.

And as I come to the end of this post, there are two things that I would like to say. Firstly, everyone and anyone is free to ask me any questions about any of my opinions and thoughts. Secondly, I truly will try and update this blog more often. I must thank you all once again for putting up with the nonsense I post on this website as I go hit the hay after being awake for 33 hours straight. [You heard that folks, 33 hours straight and that is no joke]

So apparently now, the world is in a crisis. Or is it?

I know, I know. You lot must be thinking that I’ve got made by now. I mean, really, who writes a post about global warming after not posting at all in ages? Unfortunately, only a person like me would do something like this. Perhaps you also might be thinking that I’ve drilled too much of my Environmental Management books inside my head, but that is where you’re actually wrong because I have barely touched those books. Hold on a second now- hear me out before you close this browser of yours and assume that I’m a preacher of these sort of things.

I wonder if people know the true definition of Global Warming in the first place. For those who don’t know, let me help you out a bit. It’s the increase of the temperature of the Earth’s near surface air and oceans. The cause of it is increase of a gas called carbon dioxide--oh, forget this! I’m not in a mood to be so formal anymore.

Alright, well, firstly, even if Global Warming is just a lie, what’s the difference? Just because people have to cut down on driving or stop burning so much coal, they’ve started to make such a big deal. Okay then, let’s stick with that. Do people really think that carbon dioxide is harmless? Assuming it doesn’t contribute to Global Warming, do people really think that it’s still okay to continue burning so many trees? Well, guess what? It’s not, because carbon dioxide harms the marine life. Oh, by now I’m sure you must be thinking that the life of the fish have nothing to do with you. Heck, you don’t even care about the environment, so why should you care about fish? Marine life is very useful when it comes to different medicines, believe it or not. Many marine organisms give off toxins in order to repel predators. These toxins can be taken from the marine organism and utilized in the development of medicines. If marine biodiversity continues to decline, species containing potential wonder drugs could die off. And yet, even after that, people wonder why we’re not close to finding a cure for many diseases. It’s because you’re killing the source of the cure obviously! So instead of driving to that pizza place that’s just 10 minutes, take a few extra minutes to walk there because you’ll be saving a fish for ever minute you walk. Not to mention that you’ll be burning off some calories as well. So even if you think that this whole Global Warming phenomenon isn’t true, it couldn’t harm to stay on the safe side, could it?

Now back to my point of view. I’m such a person that when someone comes up to me and utters something about Global Warming, I would simply shrug it off as if it were no big deal. I mean, okay. Even if the amount of forest fires are increasing or the Earth is becoming boiling hot..Or even if many polar bears are losing their environment and the ice caps are all melting down, it has nothing to do with me, so why should I care? Heck, even if the world is about to end, why should I care because it isn’t happening next week and it definitely isn’t happening next week either.

That was before and still is now- mostly. Well, except for the part that I do care- even if it is just a bit- because I’ve started reading a bit more about this “crisis” of ours.
Then again, it’s so boring. See, I’m the type of person who loves to do –fun- things and enjoy life, so even if the world is about to end, let’s make the best of it.

Okay. So global warming. The solution? Using things that are carbon dioxide free, drive less, burn off less fossil fuels, and all of that jazz. Now what’s the fun in this all? I’ll tell you- there’s none. But see, if you use renewable sources instead of using the same old boring fossil fuels, doesn’t that lighten things up a bit? Doesn’t the new experience makes things a bit exciting? Use solar energy for the light in your house instead of a light switch! Or even hydro-power for your cars instead of using gas and continuously filling it up while wasting money and contributing more carbon dioxide to the environment.
I see, so that doesn’t sound that fun. Well, perhaps it’s not for you, so moving on. How about planting tress instead? I know, it’s crazy and stupid, isn’t it? Not. Seriously, read everything before coming to such a conclusion. It must sound boring, but in fact, it isn’t. Imagine, you plant a seed and then you return to the place in a few years- only to see that the small seed now towers you, height-wise. The feeling is just amazing and it’s almost as if you’ve actually accomplished something- which you actually have. Why? Because a single tree will absorb one ton of carbon dioxide over its lifetime due to photosynthesis. So not only are you taking away the carbon dioxide from the environment, but you’re giving –us- more oxygen as well. And trust me, with the rate of the population increasing, we really do need more oxygen in this world. Now if this idea doesn't appeal to you, I must say that you're a boring person who shall rot in the trench of Australia and who needs to cheer up more.

Actually, I’ve just re-read this post and it sounds completely and utterly stupid and, well, unlike me. Therefore, I’ve decided that I shall delete this entire post in a few days. Granted, it did take me about 45 minutes to type up this post of nearly 900 words, but that doesn’t matter. I simply felt like displaying my thoughts at the moment- which were, that the human race is pretty pathetic. Then again, I'm human as well- from what I've seen, but that doesn't make much of a difference to me.

Talley-ho and look forward to a better post after my exams~

Ri <3

And yet again . .

It's quite sad when I think about the whole exam issue because I, for one, do want to study and score good marks. The only problem is that I can't get myself to study. Even if I do get myself to study, I still cannot answer the questions. I know the topic fully, but when it comes to the questions, I am stumped. It's rather frustrating. I think it's because of my lack of being able to 'think out of the box' and not being able to apply what I've learned. What can I do though? I cannot just change my nature so quickly.
Honestly, I can't believe this semester has passed by so quickly. It seems like just days ago we were having the class party for first semester to end. Because my mind refuses to fully accept that I have to move on and that this year is over, I can't push myself to study. Yes, it's strange, I know, but I just can't help it. I've tried almost everything and it just doesn't work.
Oh and did I mention that I am now officially addicted to roleplaying? I'm not joking at all. Half of you, lot probably don't even know what this is, but that isn't a problem as it isn't important to know at the moment. The thrill and the way you have to spread your imagination- it's fabulous! Granted, there are downsides to it since it utilizes a lot of one's time and when people decide to sudden leave you even though the story is going great, it gets irritating, but still. When roleplaying, you have to make sure that the story flows well and none of the characters get left out and to make sure it doesn't get boring, you must continue adding twists. Ah, yes, it's wonderful. I dislike two things though. One, the introduction. It simply takes too long and I find it too troublesome. Then again, it's required, so I suppose it can't be helped. Second, I really dislike the too 'advanced' people. They're merely irritating and think too highly of themselves. It's true!
Indeed this was quite a random post without one particular topic, but I still hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts.

Hold on!

Now before I continue my next post, I'd like to justify and clear myself up. Not only to other people, but to myself as well. Like many people, when I'm caught up in my thoughts, I tend to write whatever comes to my mind without thinking it through fully. And as it seems, I'm quite addicted to blogging. Even if I haven't the foggiest idea what to write, I still want to keep writing(in this case typing) and writing.

In my last post, I had mentioned two subjects: Chemistry and Economics. As I had mentioned before, I said we don't use it completely but we do use bits and pieces of them. In addition to that, I had also said that those were merely examples. Hopefully nobody took my opinions too seriously. Moreover, I also said that those subjects are mostly only used if you actually go -into- that field. They aren't something that you would use in daily life, well, except Economics you would.

I'm in the mood for starting another one of my rants now, so that's exactly what I shall do. Most teenagers nowadays prefer watching television instead of reading books. It might not seem so good, but in fact, it isn't so bad either. For this topic, I'm pro for both the television and reading books.

Reading books, I agree, can get quite boring at times. Especially if the writer makes the book too lengthy, too descriptive, or too detailed [this includes details that are necessary and that are not vital]. However, one has got to admit that books are more powerful and meaningful. When you read them, you can interpret it on your own and analyse it your own way. The television and movies, on the other hand, give the point to the viewer in a very straightforeward way, not giving any room for the viewer to spread his or her wings and imagine the characters and the entire book. Of course I'm not saying that -all- people don't like the straightforewardness of the movie. Some people do prefer just knowing the things straight out than analyzing it throughly just to understand something. As over-rated this is, one has got to also admit that reading does improve one's vocabulary. Perhaps the person himself wouldn't notice so, but it truly does. Television series and movies operate things at a simple level of emotion reaction, so that anyone can surf through the channels at any time and know what's going on. They don't go deep into the character's thoughts or emotions. In addition to that, the plotline is usually the same thing and you can predict exactly what's going to happen next or in the future. What I mean to say is that it's so predictable, it just seems so boring!

Well, those were just a few thoughts of mine, for now. Look out for more of them!

Moving on. . . .

Has anyone noticed that we have so many subjects in school, yet only a few of them are actually used in life? Not to mention, we aren't even going to remember what we learned in school for most subjects, so what's the point? For example, the subject Chemistry, what good will it do you in the future? Honestly, unless you major in that subject, it'll do one absolutely no good. So then why is it that Chemistry is still compulsory in many schools and curriculums. Of course this mini-rant has nothing to do with my hatred for Chemistry. Chemistry just turned out to be the first subject on my mind, so I picked it as one of the subjects. Other subjects that we don't use in general include Physics, Economics, Biology (although parts of it, we could), etc. The pure truth is that schools don't really teach anything expect how to obey orders. Looking back in the past 15 years of my life, teachers have taught me almost nothing. My experiences, thoughts, the people, and my surroundings are the things that have taught me many things that are actually useful in life: from trust to betrayal to how people truly are.
School cuts one off from the diversity of life. I mean there you are, sitting down in one classroom for 6 hours with the same people of the same age and social class. How boring is that!You don't get to know what's really going on and your social skills, of course, wouldn't improve to the extent that they could. That is why they made after school clubs, yes, I know, but my new school doesn't have them.

I feel it to be absurd and stupid that we have to listen to an older stranger shout at us and lecture us as if they have the right to. They can inform us and correct, yes, but do they really have the right to be so familiar with us and actually yell at us? No, infact, I don't think do because they are not my parents or my siblings. I can rant on this topic about teachers yelling at us forever, but I think I'll stop now and switch topics once again.Perhaps I'll continue this one later on.

There are about 168 and some hours in a week. An average teenager sleeps about 56 hours a week out of those 168 hours. That leaves them 112 hours. Oh, but I'm not done yet. About 55 or so hours are spent on them watching television or being on the computer. 30 hours are spent in school, 6 hours for getting ready and traveling, and about 7 or more hours a week in homework. During these 45 hours, the teens are usually under surveillance. Not to mention there's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Suppose one takes 30 minutes for each course, that cuts out 9.5 to 10 hours of the remainder time. It's not enough. It's not enough, is it? Two hours each week to have private time and space. Having only two hours to be ourselves and try to create a unique consciousness-- of course that isn't enough! So what can we do about it? Not that much, but we can do something. Will we do anything to change it? No. Will we do anything at all? No. Because nowadays, that's how to world works and people don't really try to change anything.

At the beginning. . . .

It’s funny. It’s almost as if I have so much to say, I really don’t know where to start. Being, well, me, I’ll start randomly in the middle of it all. And if anyone actually understands my posts, I congratulate you in advance.
Half the time, I’m having an internal conflict wondering what exactly is life and what’s the point of it. Do we all have to follow the same pattern and do the same thing as the other person lifelong? If so, why? Why can’t someone set a new trend or do something completely different from the others?
Obviously, I haven’t figured out the answer. If I had, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here in front of the laptop screen, pondering on such a question.
Perhaps it’s as some say and after you graduate from college, you’re free. Is that a fact though, I can’t help but wonder. What I mean to say is that, after college, one is completely busy, so are they really free to enjoy life and do whatever they want? Is the trend set to where nobody is allowed to enjoy themselves while they’re in elementary, middle, or even high school? Why is that so?

*Well, since a certain person suggested that I continue my thoughts onto the next post, that's what I shall do*